Experts say that self-love is the foundation of interpersonal interactions.

self-love

According to specialists, many people find it simpler to place the blame elsewhere rather than face their shortcomings when faced with marital difficulties.

According to experts, the mirror of self-reflection can be intimidating, but it is also the key to comprehending the more profound dynamics of love, empathy, and personal development.

For many years, Ornella Ikirezi, a 27-year-old businesswoman, believed that putting others first was the secret to being a good friend, coworker, and daughter. However, in the process, she lost herself and worried about relationships.

“I never felt good enough, even though I constantly gave so much of myself. Out of guilt, I would volunteer to help even when I was overwhelmed, but I secretly hated it. The frustration grew as I began to ignore calls,” she stated.

self-love

“I never felt valued, regardless of how much I contributed. My thinking told me that people were simply taking advantage of me, and I began to wonder if they truly cared about me. And because I expected a lot of acceptance from individuals I had not even talked to, my relationships began to fall apart. It never occurred to me that I was also involved in all of this. I decided to seek treatment after experiencing a few burnouts as a result of going above and beyond,” she added.

She initially doubted that it would be effective for her.

But she started to gain a deeper awareness of herself. Establishing boundaries changed her life because it taught her to say no without feeling guilty and allowed her to rekindle her passion while concentrating on self-awareness and self-love.

“I improved as a listener and at last opened up by being more honest and present. My friends and family now see a different side of me. I am there emotionally as well as physically. My relationships grew stronger the more I permitted myself to develop. Setting yourself first is not selfish, but it is necessary if you want to genuinely love and support other people, Ikirezi stated.

Her experience is consistent with research on self-love, which is defined as having positive respect, appreciation, and affinity for oneself. This research indicates that people who have greater levels of self-esteem also report lower anxiety levels and healthier interpersonal interactions. According to a study from the European research website ResearchGate, cultivating self-love not only boosts one’s self-esteem but also establishes the groundwork for positive interpersonal relationships.

Self-love is both a pillar and a paradox in interpersonal relationships, according to Damien Mouzoun, a family counselor and the CEO of Ayina Think Tank, a research-based counseling institution in Kigali. According to him, it can create bonds, encourage compassion, and motivate bravery, but it also runs the risk of going in the wrong direction.

We can build a more balanced and caring community where self-love enhances rather than diminishes our common humanity if we recognize and accept this complexity, he said. Self-love appears as a guiding principle and a multifaceted quality that affects how we handle interpersonal interactions, straddling the thin line between selflessness and selfishness.

Frequently misinterpreted as narcissism, scientists believe self-love is a complex aspect of human behavior that influences not just how we relate to ourselves but also how we interact with others.

Mouzoun told The New Times that the concept of self-love relates to the harmony between self-care and serving others, which influences our own decisions and exposes the duality of human behavior.

Self-love is really about cultivating self-worth and self-awareness. It makes it possible for people to protect their well-being and make constructive contributions to others. Without it, neglect and low self-esteem frequently cause relationships and larger social interactions to fall apart, according to Mouzoun.

He added that self-love has its extremities, just like any other notion, which can turn it into a destructive force.

According to Mouzoun, people frequently act in ways that alternate between thinking about themselves and assisting others.

self-love

Consider someone who makes significant sacrifices for the good of others. Their acts may appear completely unselfish on the surface, but a closer look reveals that they may have been driven by a desire for fame or notoriety, which ultimately serves the interests of the team as a whole. Often hailed as the pinnacle of selflessness, heroism frequently harbors egoistic undertones, he noted.

Self-love is the cornerstone of successful partnerships in interpersonal relationships. As the saying goes, “How can you love others if you do not love yourself?” This emphasizes how crucial self-worth is for developing empathy, comprehension, and respect for one another.

According to him, people who have a high sense of self-worth are better able to help others, form deep connections, and make constructive contributions to society.

Mouzoun added that self-destruction might result from self-love that leans toward narcissism or extreme egoism.

For example, people may unintentionally damage the relationships they value most when they put their own needs ahead of those of others. This fine line between self-love and selflessness emphasizes the value of social awareness and emotional intelligence,” he stated.

Society must prioritize providing for everyone while honoring each person’s sense of self-worth if it hopes to transform self-love into a constructive force. Understanding social connections and human behavior can help us see things more than just as good or evil. Rather, it can illustrate the intricate harmony between altruism and self-interest that shapes our actions.

Self-love and self-awareness are crucial, according to Jane Gatete Abatoni, Executive Secretary of ARCT-Ruhuka, an association of trauma counselors. She emphasized that those who lack self-love frequently experience low self-esteem, which makes it difficult for them to appreciate themselves or establish sound limits.

Social norms in Rwanda frequently prioritize family and community, which can occasionally cause people to disregard their own needs. It is critical to strike a balance between cultural ideals and individual self-care, according to Abatoni.

They might accept unfair treatment or rely too much on other people for approval, which can result in toxic relationships. Additionally, they might neglect their own needs, which could result in stress, burnout, or feelings of inadequacy.

She claimed that because it becomes difficult for them to develop their confidence, pursue their goals, or find true happiness, these individuals will never be able to sustain new relationships.

According to her, parents are essential in helping kids develop self-love.

Children who grow up in settings that support their emotions gain the self-worth necessary to form wholesome relationships as adults. Parents should always support their children’s internal development.

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